Nimisha Sharma, Leicester
I lost my husband and soul mate to bowel cancer in December 2021.
Our story is not just of loss and cancer, but of love and finding hope. I will forever see life in two parts – before and after cancer. My amazing, 34 year old husband was diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer at the beginning of last year. Life as we knew it brutally changed overnight and 2021 became a year which brought a rollercoaster of turbulence and trauma.
Let me start with our life before cancer. Krunal and I were just a happily married couple. We were soul mates, seeing life as a fluid journey that we lived in our own way. We lived for each day, making the most of our time together and creating memories to last a lifetime.
Krunal was a passionate lover of life. We spent our time trying new foods and recipes being the foodies that we were, we were constantly seeking out the latest spots to eat out. He had a keen eye for fashion and particularly trainers, always having the most enviable wardrobe and a known trendsetter for friends and family. He loved film and music, he was the go-to person for the latest recommendations. Football, especially supporting Manchester United, was a huge part of his life, he watched every match cheering on his favourite team.
Krunal was extremely confident and outgoing, making friends everywhere he went. He had this remarkable, magnetic personality and an infectious sense of humour, leaving a lasting impression with anyone who was fortunate to cross paths with him. His incredible smile was his trademark – it would melt hearts as well as allow him to get away with his cheeky banter!
He had everything going for him – a large, loving family, a great new job. We had also just bought our first forever home and it truly felt like the stars were aligning, especially as Krunal and I found out we were expecting our first baby at the same time. Our happiness knew no bounds, I remember how excited we felt to be starting our future together. We were finally on the cusp of it.
At this point in our life, Krunal was hit with a shocking stage 4 bowel cancer diagnosis, forever changing life for us in a way we never saw coming.
After living a healthy lifestyle throughout lockdown last year, in November 2020, Krunal began to experience sudden, abdominal cramps in the middle of his stomach. I remember the first episode vividly – it came on so suddenly and he was keeled over in pain.
After living a healthy lifestyle throughout lockdown last year, in November 2020, Krunal began to experience sudden, abdominal cramps in the middle of his stomach. I remember the first episode vividly – it came on so suddenly and he was keeled over in pain. It lasted a few hours and we didn't think much of it. I did a hot water bottle for him and made him a ginger drink, thinking it would settle his stomach. The cramps led to an episode of diarrhoea after which Krunal felt completely back to normal. In fact, so much so that we went to the pub for dinner that night and dismissed it as a one-off.
However, after a week or so the cramps and pain came back. Krunal said the pain was always in the same place, in the middle of his stomach. The pain was so severe that I drove him to A&E and was told to wait outside the hospital whilst they did some tests.
After what felt like hours, Krunal came out and said he was no longer in pain. He'd been placed on a drip and given codeine to help manage the pain. There had been no real tests or investigations at this point but the doctors had mentioned possible gall stones, for which Krunal had been booked in for an ultrasound. We were relieved at that point, it didn't sound like it was anything serious.
The day of the ultrasound came and no gallstones were found. We were passed over to our local GP for further advice as it didn't seem to be a serious issue. At this point, Krunal was still continuing to experience severe pain in his stomach and we still had no idea what was causing it. There seemed to be no correlation to the food we were eating but even then, we decided to simplify our diet.
Our GP suggested Krunal could have irritable bowel syndrome or acid reflux. We were sent home with a cocktail of different medicines to aid with his pain – codeine (which made his symptoms worse), paracetamol and Buscopan. None of these worked and the painful episodes began to occur more frequently. Each time, they would end in severe vomiting and diarrhoea. "Something is wrong", Krunal would say to me. "I feel like I'm blocked".
Krunal began to notice a rapid weight loss too. It is a real shame that even during the early days, Krunal didn't get any referrals from our GP to detect that his diagnosis could be cancer. On the surface of it, doctors saw a young, healthy man in the prime of his life and unfortunately, his symptoms were dismissed due to these factors. If he had been sent for a referral at this point, our outcome could have been a better one.
During this time, Krunal and I had moved into our new home. We were still juggling his painful cramps but Krunal was so excited to be starting our new life. On the days he felt well, we went out to furniture shops, planning all the decor exactly as any young couple would. And alongside this, we found out we were pregnant.
Krunal still felt something wasn't right and we weren't any closer to getting an answer. Blood tests, stool samples and many calls to the GP and 111 all came back fine. In January 2021, we arranged for a private scan where we got a call that changed the course of our life forever. They had found a lesion in Krunal's bowel... it was serious. We were in absolute shock and the next couple of weeks were a blur of appointments. A colonoscopy was arranged and after the procedure, Krunal and I were taken aside to a small room.
All I remember was the doctor looking at us with an extremely concerned face. I gripped Krunal's hand strongly in mine. "It's cancer I'm afraid...". The room went cold and I looked at Krunal. "But we're pregnant...".
All I remember was the doctor looking at us with an extremely concerned face. I gripped Krunal's hand strongly in mine. "It's cancer I'm afraid...". The room went cold and I looked at Krunal. "But we're pregnant...".
We were referred back to our local hospital for treatment. Krunal's case was reviewed at multi-disciplinary team about a month after we found out about the cancer. The waiting was horrible, not knowing what stage the cancer was and what our future would hold. In between, we tried to juggle the pregnancy and stay positive.
We finally met the oncologist in February, where we learnt the devastating news that Krunal had advanced, inoperable bowel cancer. I started crying in the appointment, pleading with our oncologist to save my husband. Krunal told me to stay calm and we discussed treatment. He would need to have the most aggressive form of chemotherapy to try and shrink the cancer. That's all we were told.
His treatment began in March 2021. Krunal went through the rounds of aggressive chemotherapy and he managed it all incredibly well – always remaining positive and optimistic. He was still his cheeky self, laughing and joking with friends and family. He was really excited to have a baby and we planned for the future. Even with the dark cloud of cancer looming over us, we saw the light of the future and chose to focus on that. I did whatever I could to support and care for him. We navigated all his medical appointments alongside our baby scans. I felt hopeful and we never discussed prognosis for stage 4 – Krunal wasn't a statistic, he was a determined individual with everything to live for.
Throughout this time, Krunal also had to change his diet and adapted to a low fibre diet. This meant that he had to cut out many foods which he loved to minimise the risk of a bowel obstruction. He did this with a beaming smile and being the foodie that he is, he still found a way to create innovative recipes and enjoy food.
A half way scan in June revealed that chemotherapy was working and saw a shrinkage of the main tumour and also the areas it had spread. This meant that Krunal would soon become operable which was incredible! The oncologist mentioned that they'd detected a 'speck' in Krunal's liver at this point but that it wasn't anything to be concerned about. We did question this but weren't given any detail about what the speck meant. We had no choice but to trust the experts and celebrate our small win that treatment was working.
We'd also paid to do a specialist report based on the particular gene mutation Krunal had. The report was a complex document which detailed treatments that could benefit Krunal. Unfortunately, our oncologist never went through the report with us at the time. We later learnt that there were life-saving treatment proposals detailed within the report.
For his surgery, Krunal was referred to Christie Hospital in Manchester due to the nature of the spread being in the peritoneum. Christie's is a centre of excellence for that particular type of metastases, so at this point, it looked like Krunal was being given a fighting chance for a curative approach. We were happy with this and our future seemed better. We were told to wait for an update from Christie's.
The waiting however took a long time and as Krunal was still undergoing chemotherapy, I found myself being the middle person between our local hospital and Christie. I spent most of my time on the phone trying to get updates whilst balancing looking after Krunal as well as entering the final trimester of my pregnancy.
In August, we welcomed our beautiful baby girl and she was absolutely perfect. Miraculously, even though it was only days after his 11th cycle of treatment, Krunal was with me throughout the entire birth. I will never forget the look on his face when she came into the world – he was overjoyed and amazed. It made him even more determined to face cancer head on and get sorted, whatever it took.
Whilst we were learning how to be new parents, Krunal completed his 12th and final chemotherapy and scans showed an excellent response with complete shrinkage in most areas. However, we still hadn't been given a date for surgery from the Christie at this stage so again, it became a case of chasing for the next step.
It is recommended that any surgery to remove cancer takes place six weeks after the last chemotherapy session. When we were eventually given a date, it meant that Krunal would have waited over ten weeks for his surgery date – his last chemotherapy session being early September and the surgery was booked for mid-November. Still, we had no choice but to put Krunal's life in the hands of medical experts.
In this time, we never would've imagined what was to come. From being in such a good place with knowing treatment had worked, surgery was planned and our baby filling us with hope for the future, in October, Krunal began to experience abdominal cramps again. He made numerous trips in and out of the local oncology ward and each time, there were no tests or scans done. It felt like we were being dismissed as Krunal's case was now in the hands of the Christie. He was sent home with codeine and antibiotics but not given any real reason for what was causing pain.
However, his symptoms persisted and Krunal went from being full of energy to fatigued and in pain. It was when he complained of a pain in his legs that I insisted he went back to hospital, this time demanding answers. This was at the end of October 2021.
This time, Krunal was finally booked in for a scan. It had taken almost eight weeks of pain for a scan to finally be booked. Devastatingly, it revealed that not only had the cancer progressed in the last two months but Krunal had a bowel obstruction and developed clots in his legs and lungs.
I was there when the results were delivered to Krunal. I felt absolutely floored, clutching Krunal's hand tightly. We both sat there with tears in our eyes, in shock and disbelief.
I was there when the results were delivered to Krunal. I felt absolutely floored, clutching Krunal's hand tightly. We both sat there with tears in our eyes, in shock and disbelief.
In the next couple of days, Krunal underwent an emergency operation to defunction his bowel due to the blockage. I went to see him in the intensive care unit shortly after and was relieved to see him talking and joking with the nurses, he was back to his cheeky self and even adapted to life with a stoma bag. That was the thing about Krunal, he took everything in his stride and always looked at the positives in each situation.
After this huge setback and fearing for my little family, I was determined not to leave anything else to fate and began pursuing a private surgeon and oncologist. After a few conversations about potential treatment, this option sounded really positive and Krunal and I were filled with hope once again. We remained strong as he tried to slowly recover from his stoma surgery.
Krunal was set to begin his second line of chemotherapy just before Christmas. In this time, he developed further symptoms such as high fevers and tachycardia. We watched helplessly as Krunal was sent in and out of A&E on a regular basis with no real solution offered. The worst thing was, we were dismissed from our local oncology team as Krunal had been off chemotherapy for more than six weeks. This was truly shocking to us, to be sending in an active cancer patient into A&E, for what were clearly cancer related symptoms. After each trip to A&E, Krunal grew more anxious.
In December 2021, Krunal's health deteriorated quickly and he developed jaundice. A further scan revealed that the cancer had continued to spread rapidly throughout his body, especially his liver. What was once classed as a 'speck and not a cause for concern' by our oncologist was now to become the biggest obstacle that would prevent any further treatment. In this time, Krunal became increasingly fatigued and breathless. He struggled to go up the stairs or pick up our baby. It's truly shocking how quickly this disease ravages the body of someone who was so fit and healthy. I was in disbelief at what was happening.
Just days before his new treatment was due to commence, Krunal and I got a call that made our blood run cold. No treatment can be offered... there was too much cancer. Our world collapsed.
From this point, it was a matter of ten days before Krunal passed away. I will never forget the pain and trauma he went through in this time. My heart wept silently as we tried to celebrate our first Christmas as family of three with our little baby. It would be our only Christmas together.
The lack of support from medical professionals throughout our journey meant we were constantly trying to find answers. We never got answers and were often dismissed. It cost the life of someone who had everything to live for. Krunal wasn't just battling his cancer but also fighting a hugely flawed healthcare system, which we as a family are struggling to accept.
Looking back now, there were many things that went wrong in our journey. From GPs dismissing Krunal's symptoms to our oncology team dismissing new growth, specialist reports and the entire lack of communication in ensuring swift surgery. It was also never picked up that Krunal had a particularly aggressive type of mutation. Had this been tested, the outcome may have been different.
We've found evidence which says that bowel cancer is more aggressive in young adults with a limited prognosis. We want to raise awareness to make sure young people with advanced cancer get the help they need from early diagnosis. This ultimately saves lives.
So that's why our story isn't just a cancer story, but one of love and ultimately hope. Krunal and I never left each other's side throughout the whole year. We were each other's strength and restored hope in one another, even when faced with the most difficult of times. Even though I can't begin to imagine a future without my soul mate, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel when I see our baby girl.
So that's why our story isn't just a cancer story, but one of love and ultimately hope. Krunal and I never left each other's side throughout the whole year. We were each other's strength and restored hope in one another, even when faced with the most difficult of times. Even though I can't begin to imagine a future without my soul mate, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel when I see our baby girl. She has the same cheeky smile as my husband. That's his legacy to the world, that's the hope for the future.
If you'd like to contribute to the family's fundraising efforts, please visit their JustGiving page: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/krunalsharma