“I’ve done harder things” – Suzie’s mantra for life after bowel cancer treatment
Wednesday 10 April 2024
Suzie Smith was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer aged 32. Here she shares how she now approaches life a little differently.
“I’ve done harder things” has been the mantra that I’ve adopted since completing nearly two years of treatment for advanced bowel cancer and getting my one-year all-clear result. When I’m scared, uncomfortable, or embarrassed, or when something is chucked at me that’s out of my comfort zone, I push aside the fear, quickly say yes, and whisper this mantra to myself. Want me to officiate your wedding in Kenya? Sure, I can do that! An interview on Sky News? No sweat! Be on a billboard in a bikini with my scars on show? Why not!
#OneThing that gave me comfort throughout my treatment, and ever since the news that I’m now all-clear, is that nothing is permanent. All of a sudden, the thing that once felt overwhelming or impossible is conquered and then you’re onto your next challenge. And whatever way you got through it, it doesn't matter, because you managed it.
I know that I can do anything now because what I’ve gone through has been harder.
Ever since my diagnosis in 2021, I’ve had to continuously find the strength to keep going, and that’s hard. Of course, you’ve got to get yourself in and out of treatment rooms and finding the courage to walk into doctors' offices to get results is hard. But no one tells you about the other stuff that comes with a diagnosis; how hard it is to ask for help, to be okay with needing rest, and how you’ll have to be honest about your fears. Going to dinners, weddings and baby showers, and being jealous and happy simultaneously for your friends' lives that are moving forward, whilst yours feels like it's at a standstill. Not fitting into your clothes, having to chop and change diets, constantly thinking about your energy levels and the plans you might have to cancel.
And then, even if you are fortunate enough for your treatment to finish, you somehow have to find the energy to navigate starting again. Returning to work and changed relationships, maybe a body that works slightly differently, and just life stuff like rent increases, taxes, and the ridiculous price of coffee, etc. As cruel as it sounds, life doesn't stop because you have or had cancer.
I’m so grateful for my all-clear status and for the incredible care I received and I'm proud of my resilience in facing challenges, (even the tearful ones!). It hasn't been easy, and that's okay. If you're newly diagnosed, currently in treatment, or rebuilding your life after cancer too – know that you can do hard things. And if today feels too hard, that's okay, just make sure you choose to start again tomorrow.
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