“Acceptance is a huge part of my routine” – How Leeanne approaches Chemotherapy

Leeanne Davies-Grassnick was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in 2022. She receives regular chemotherapy to keep her cancer under control.

I recently had my 43rd round of chemo. I’m currently on FOLFIRI, which is two types of chemotherapy drugs in one, and I get it every three weeks. I’ve learned a lot in the two years since my treatment began and I’ve developed a routine that helps me manage chemo.

Preparation

The days before chemo are difficult and my mood changes. It’s because I know what to expect. I know it will completely wipe me out, that I’ll feel sick and won’t be active as I want to be. I’ve found that preparation and acceptance help. In the days before, I remind myself that it’s okay to feel down. I give myself a break, rather than trying to perk up.  

Before chemo, I try to do the things that are important to me. I usually do something nice with my wife and son, exercise, do laundry and cook in advance. This helps me feel more in control.  

I get my bloods done and my port accessed the day before chemo. That morning, if the weather is good, I walk to the hospital. I listen to a meditation or music and it helps clear my mind and manage stress.  

It’s really helpful to have a chemo bag prepped and ready to go at all times. I used to pack my bag every session. Now I have the same bag with all my essentials, so I don’t worry about sorting it out the night before. It’s got headphones, a charger, a book, comfy socks to help the neuropathy (painful tingling in the hands or feet) and snacks to help with nausea. The morning of the chemo, I wake up and just grab my bag and I’m ready to go.

I’m very fortunate that my friend drives me to chemo. I recommend making your journey there as enjoyable as possible. We call it our little chemo road trip and have a good chat and a laugh.

On the day

When I get to the hospital I catch up with the nurses and patients I’ve gotten to know. It’s nice to connect with people before treatment starts.  

I find that moving a bit before chemo helps make my side effects less severe. So, I’ll do a little dance or a shake, something to get my blood circulating and boost my mood.

I get pre-medication to help prevent side effects like cramps and nausea. My first chemo then lasts an hour and a half. When that is hooked up to me, I’m already drowsy from the pre-medications, so I close my eyes and listen to a meditation. It helps me think about welcoming the chemo and healing.  

After that’s done, the nurse attaches a second chemo. This is a pump which stays attached to my port for 48 hours and I take it home with me.

I’m very tired and nauseous when I get home, so I go to the sofa. When my son comes home from nursey, I try to use my energy to engage with him. He knows when I’m on chemo, so he usually curls up next to me and reads. Once my wife puts him to bed, I go to bed too.

Often, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and struggle to get back to sleep. I find listening to something funny or watching a sitcom helps my anxiety.

Recovery

For the first two days, I sleep a lot as I’m still drowsy from all the supportive medications. I do however try to do some movement, even some light exercise, as I find this beneficial. Recently, I’ve tried to get out of the house on the second or third day, just to walk down the street to get my circulation going. The last thing I want to do is move whilst on chemo but it is very helpful, therefore I’m so grateful that my wife is there to encourage me. 

After two days, it’s time to remove the chemo. I’m fortunate that my wife is a doctor, so she’s able to remove the chemo pump and flush my port at home. My favourite part is the shower after because I’m not able to shower while it’s connected. It’s amazing to finally feel fresh.  

It’s usually another couple of days until I start feeling normal. It’s unpredictable and I’ve stopped trying to control it because the more I try, the more it doesn’t go my way. Acceptance is a huge part of my routine; no matter what you do, you’ll always not feel great. I’m lucky to have a wider team of professionals supporting me with integrative therapies, such as acupuncture, reflexology, and nutrition, to help manage side effects and improve my quality of life. 

Chemo is keeping me alive so of course I’m going to continue with it, but I also accept the moments when I don’t want to do it. I tell myself that it’s okay to be angry and sad and also thankful at the same time.  

I read that butterflies rest in a tree when it rains so it doesn’t damage their wings. That’s a good reminder to anyone going through chemo, or anything difficult, that it’s okay to take a moment to rest so you can be strong for the future.  

A few days ago, I had chemo and I was sick and dizzy and couldn’t leave the house. But today, the sun is shining, I’ve taken my son to nursery and life is okay again. It’s important to remember that tomorrow can and will be better.  

You can follow Leeanne and her story on @lee_loves_living on Instagram.

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