Cassie’s Walkies Together challenge helped her cope with grief after losing her dad

Cassie’s dad passed away from bowel cancer in 2022. In this blog she shares how taking part in fundraising challenges like Walkies Together helped her cope with her loss 

Dad’s cancer 

"I have cancer, it will be ok, don't get upset, it is what it is...." 

That phone call will forever stay in my memory. My amazing dad, Trevor, had called to tell me he’d been diagnosed with bowel cancer. When I heard those words, it felt like the world had fallen from underneath me.

Dad had just retired from work, he had plans to buy a camper van and travel, but sadly his diagnosis came before he could. He’d always struggled with eating and digestion. On my wedding day, he couldn't even eat the meal and opted for cheese and crackers instead.

After months of me nagging him, he eventually booked a GP appointment. Sadly, he wasn’t taken seriously in his first few appointments. The GP blamed his symptoms, such as bleeding every time he went to the toilet, on his lifestyle (the pub was my dad’s second home). Eventually, he saw a locum GP who referred him for multiple tests. I hoped it would be something manageable like IBS, but a colonoscopy found stage 3 bowel cancer.

We were worried but stayed positive. Dad was determined to get through it. He went through chemotherapy and radiotherapy. He also had an operation and a stoma fitted. Despite some very difficult days he always made jokes in his dry sense of humour and chatted to the nurses.

Just when it felt like things couldn't get any tougher, COVID-19 hit and Dad’s treatment stopped. Lockdown really affected us as a family. My dad was in complete isolation and his condition worsened. I watched my funny, strong, sarcastic dad get weaker and become housebound. Eventually, he was taken to a hospice where he was diagnosed with sepsis. Three years after his diagnosis he passed away on 23 March 2022. 

Handling grief

The day I lost my dad changed everything. I felt like my world had been turned upside down. I missed everything about him; his sarcasm, his daft jokes, the way he phoned me at the most inappropriate times, his stories and his quirky ways. He was also a brilliant grandad and would make my daughter laugh as well as providing lots of pound coins for her pocket money. 

Grief is different for everyone. I felt angry and lost. That’s when I started following Bowel Cancer UK on Facebook, their fundraising campaigns inspired me to focus my energy into something positive. Taking part in their fundraising meant I could raise awareness of the disease, and even better, raise some money to go towards lifesaving research and projects. It gave me a purpose and helped me to slowly start to feel more like me again. 

One of my favourite memories of my dad is how he used to take me to feed squirrels in the park when I was little. The squirrels would run right up to us and take the peanuts out of our hands, I thought it was amazing. In memory of my dad, I got a tattoo of a squirrel. In tribute to Bowel Cancer UK, I got the Star of Hope in the squirrel’s tail because the charity helped me a lot after Dad’s passing.

Walkies Together  

When I saw Walkies Together, I knew it would be perfect for me. I love walking my cocker spaniel, Mickey, and exploring new places with him. Not only is it perfect for dog walkers but the whole family can be involved, my 10-year-old daughter and my husband also took part and supported me through my first Walkies Together and we all felt a sense of achievement at the end. I had amazing support from friends and family and was beyond grateful to have gone over my fundraising target.  

Going through bereavement counselling, receiving support from Bowel Cancer UK and pouring my energies into fundraising have all really helped me cope with my grief. I can't thank the charity enough for coming up with amazing ideas and supporting me throughout it all.

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