Becky’s ActiveApril challenge in memory of her mum

Becky Ferris lost her mum Helen to bowel cancer in April 2022. She shares in this blog how taking part in ActiveApril helps her feel connected to her mum’s memory.

Mum was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer in December 2021, and was given six to 12 months to live. In April 2022, my sister and I decided to take part in ActiveApril to support Bowel Cancer UK. The fundraising campaign asks you to get sponsored to do something active every day for the whole of April, which is Bowel Cancer Awareness Month. My sister and I would either walk or skip after work, and sometimes Mum would join if she felt up to it, with one of us pushing her wheelchair.

Mum was so strong and never let the cancer define her. So much so, that she managed to eat a meal out at a pub for my dad’s birthday, at a point when the doctor was surprised she was even able to get out of bed. Just three days later, in the early hours of 27 April 2022, she sadly passed away. It was a massive shock to us all and we weren’t ready for her to leave so soon. She was only 57 years old. As a family, we’ve never been so broken.  

Mum never gave up, and this inspired us to keep going with ActiveApril. We managed to raise an amazing total of £1,000. Even though she couldn’t see the end result, I knew she would’ve been so proud of us. For our last day of the challenge, my sister,  my dad and I went on a long walk together in her honour.  

Everyone deals with grief differently, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. My advice to those who’ve lost a loved one is to talk about your feelings. When I lost my mum, I didn’t open up, and so everything would come over me like a massive wave.

Staying active has really helped me with my grief. Once spring and summer is here, I can go on lovely walks outside and hear the birds sing, or listen to the calming sounds of the sea with the waves crashing. I struggle in the winter months when it’s not as easy to do exercise, and my grief gets harder to manage, especially around Christmas and other special occasions. To help me through, I recently started a daily meditation practice. 

It’s now been two years since Mum’s been gone, and I miss her every day. I decided to take part in ActiveApril again this year in her memory. She’s my motivation and inspiration to stick to the challenge. I’ll be taking part by walking, skipping and hula hooping. ActiveApril holds a special place in my heart because of Mum having passed away in April. It also helps me, knowing I can support the bowel cancer community, who’ve always supported me. 

I feel very connected to Mum when taking part in this challenge. She’ll always be my inspiration and I’ll keep living on in her memory, forever and always.

• Find out more and sign up to ActiveApril
• Support and information about coping with grief and bereavement
• Read more real life stories