Lee Fortey, Gloucester
I was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer on 11 October 2021, aged 46.
I remember on the morning of my birthday weekend Sunday 29 August 2021 I had severe abdominal pain in the lower region which doubled me over. That lunchtime I was attending a local festival to party hard and have a good old drink and dance. While walking to the site with my family and friends it hit me again and I didn't think I was going to be able to go as it was really uncomfortable. I had raised concerns to my wife in July as I had had a similar attack earlier but I thought it was trapped wind or irritable bowel syndrome. She urged me to see a doctor but I thought it would just pass, as we all do.
On the festival day it stopped me in my tracks, worse than the earlier episode. A friend who's a nurse was next to me and asked what was going on. I told her my symptoms and explained I also had experienced:
- stomach bloating
- constipation
- blood in my stools
- change in stool habits
- itchiness in my bottom
Instantly she said you need to book appointment at your GP and get it looked at, listen to your wife. Again I didn't act straight away.
A month passed and I was still experiencing some of the symptoms. I always used to joke about with the lads that I had irritable bowel syndrome, piles and the air bag (stomach) has gone off as I was very bloated.
Being in the rugby environment for most of my life I put it down to training, diet, beers and a bit of stress.
I made an appointment as it wasn't just going away, I used to be regular as clockwork but some days I couldn't go at all. The GP, a lovely doctor, put me at ease, said I had done the right thing getting checked. She asked me lots of questions in reference to what was happening. I showed her a photo of my stool with the blood in and she didn't seem too concerned but wanted to know why it was there. Bloods were taken and an internal rectum examination started my journey that day in September 2021.
I went back a week later to get my blood results, she told me one of the functions was border line and she was a little concerned. More blood to be taken again and booked me in for a sigmoidoscopy, this was on the two week wait referral.
11 October 2021 was the morning of the sigmoidoscopy. I woke at 2am to prep my bowel ready for my appointment. My dad drove me over to Cheltenham as my wife was unwell with COVID and we were having a laugh and joke about normal things talking about the examination and I said all will be good and I'll ring Christina when I am finished as she wanted to collect me.
The examination started and it was going ok having a chat with the nurse, nice music playing bit of gas and air! Not too uncomfortable, the thought was worse than the actual procedure.
Then I remember her saying something like "I'm glad you came today, Lee!" I asked why? She explained men are quite stubborn and don't like listening to us women... (never a truer word had been spoken!) I gave a bit of banter back and listened to the music. Towards the end she said she had seen something she didn't like and was going to take some biopsies. She also gave me my first tattoo that as I know now was around the tumour.
While in recovery I rang my wife and asked her to come over, she was quite blasé as we all hadn't thought it would be much more than piles. When I told her that they wouldn't discuss the findings with me until she got here, I heard her voice change. She didn't have the same ease and humour.
She reassured me that whatever they told us we would deal with it together, me being me, I thought she was being over dramatic, but in true Christina style, she was keeping it real and trying to prepare me for what she had the foresight to know we were going to be told.
As the doctor had to do another procedure Christina and I sat in a bland waiting room looking at each other waiting for the nurses for about 45 mins, it felt like 45 hours. Christina tried to distract me pointing to the large intestine on a bowel information poster on the wall, she wondered which part the camera had gone into. And she was dropping hints that perhaps they had seen some polyps somewhere.
Finally, two lovely medical staff appeared, looking fairly serious, I mean who would want to give that news to anyone? I had an unnerving feeling and it hit me that the hints Christina had been giving and their faces, I knew my life was about to change forever. They introduced themselves and Christina interjected to the nurse, "let me guess, you're the cancer nurse?" I was like "no", but also knowing she had got it bang on. I sat there not taking much in as my practical wife asked a load of questions, some of which I remember thinking, she's over thinking it, but nope again she was asking appropriate questions… whilst I sat there numb. Christina wanted to be armed with all the information she could (it's the teacher in her). She finished on one question "do people get out of this room knowing more than we do?" At the time I think she didn't want to be blindsided at a later date, she wanted to know it all, but they could only give us what they had, it was cancer, it was a sizable tumour and that was it!
I found my voice and said but how do you know, you haven't sent the biopsy off yet? The doctor looked at me and said, you're right we do need to get it checked but I have seen enough of this to know that is 99.9% cancer. In a strange way, although we had to wait for the next set of appointments we knew when we walked out of that room that it was cancer.
We drove back to Gloucester, both of us worn out and trying to work out how to play the next few hours before the school run.
We wanted to keep the news to close family and friends, basically to the people who knew I had gone for the test. It was really hard saying the cancer word and watching your loved ones faces change. It was soul destroying and frightening as we couldn't answer many questions.
We told our five children aged between 15 and six (again the hardest thing we have had to do). We agreed we wanted them to hear it from us as we could make them feel they could talk to us about it. The high school and primary school they attend supported them and us beyond belief. They could feel vulnerable there when they didn't want to in front of us. Never underestimate the support you can get from the school community.
After digesting the news it was then a bit of a waiting game, finding out the results of the biopsy going for a CT scan and then a colonoscopy. Your life changes and it's phone consultations, zoom calls (COVID), self-isolating and a meeting with the consultant.
On 22 October 2021 we had a meeting with the consultant to find out what the procedure was all about. Being sat in the waiting room for your name to be called was like waiting for your turn at the meat counter in the supermarket.
11:57am it comes Mr Fortey… my wife and I sit there and took it all in. It seems very straight forward a bit like plumbing pipework. We get told every scenario and outcome possible and how they are going to remove the tumour. Wow the body is amazing and what these surgeons can do is unbelievable.
Feeling reassured and lots of questions answered this was a time I thought to myself how, what, where and why… but staying positive and having great family and friends for support. With the nurses helping with other matters it was time to get ready for the day of operation.
On 4 November 2021 I wake up at 4.46am looking at the clock thinking to myself get showered, shaved and a nice juicy sausage would be nice as still nil by mouth! I go into the kids bedroom give them all a kiss and hug then pick my bag up thinking I'm going on holiday for a couple of weeks with the new clothes the wife has bought. We drive to Gloucester Royal Hospital, park up and head up to the ward to be admitted at 7.30am ready for the operation just after lunch.
Tumour removed from my colon and lying in recovery being reassured everything went well. The first thing I did was to see if the bag was there! Luckily I got away without having one. Recovering well for a couple of days I get woken up at 4.50am Saturday morning. Lee we've got to move you as you have tested positive for COVID! How I asked… I then managed to spend 12 days in hospital with COVID, surgery and an infection. I got visited by one of the consultants and cancer nurses every day to monitor my progress and give me the relevant treatment. This was emotionally and physically testing but I thought I've just got to trust the professionals and stay positive. Further tests were done to see if any further treatment was necessary. Although I was in a lot pain and discomfort from the operation, this was great news and gave me an even more of a positive outcome.
On 17 December 2021 I was anticipating a phone call from the nurse to find out results. Every time the phone rang I could feel myself tighten with the fear of what was to come. Then eventually it came at 3.38pm and I was informed that it was positive news, the tumour had been removed along with 26 lymph nodes and no further treatment required. Wow! I still ask are you sure? Enjoy Christmas and we will speak to you in January. Best Christmas present ever.
I was very lucky I noticed a change in bowel movements and other symptoms showing. Listening to people around you and talking about it helped me on this journey. My family and friends have been amazing from start to now taking me out for drives, visiting coffee shops and getting me out and about for a change of scenery. The amount of gifts, cakes, sweets, lasagnes made for us showed us that people were thinking of us and caring about us. I managed to put a bit of weight back on giving me a feel good factor and the strength to get back to some daily duties.
I would like to extend my gratitude to the cancer specialist nurses who were involved keeping me up to date with the process, the surgical team who did an amazing job in getting rid of the cancer and giving me the information and support I needed.
My wife Christina has been a total rock throughout this time, keeping life as normal as possible for our children even though she wasn't well herself and always being there for me. The journey has been an eye opener and we know it will never be the same again. I'm in the system and for that I am grateful, if the dreaded cancer tries to return we will kick it in the butt (words from my youngest child aged six).
Yes I count myself to be very lucky on the outcome of this cancer and I have a greater appreciation of life. Yes my diet, lifestyle have changed as the bowel still has to settle down and all being well I will have a lifestyle to suit.
A few challenges to conquer and a haircut after two years in lockdown will motivate me to my road to fitness, raise some funds for charity and also awareness of bowel cancer.
Here are some websites I've found helpful during my journey:
