Natasha de Terán, Crickhowell

I was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer aged 52 in 2021.

I work in public policy, academia, as a board member and a trustee. I’m also the founder of EdNerat, a business which designs and makes coats, which had its beginnings in the despair of my bowel cancer experience.

Prior to my diagnosis, I was working in finance. I was feeling weak and episodically fainting. Extensive examinations led to a menopausal diagnosis.

Finding my health incompatible with workplace demands, I took some time out and in early 2021, I was putting the final touches to a book when I suffered extreme abdominal pain. A fabulous friend rushed round to scoop up my daughter and my husband took me to A&E. It was mid-pandemic, and he had to leave me at the door.

I had an operation to remove part of my bowel and woke up with a stoma. The pain had evidently been caused by the tumour bursting through the bowel wall, but it was not for a month or so that I was given the diagnosis. The news was brutal: stage 3, possibly stage 4 cancer.  My mother was dying of pancreatic cancer at the time, which cast a shadow over everything. Like many my age, I grew up when cancer seemed incurable, and I immediately presumed it was a death sentence. I quickly learnt however that cancer is a journey.

In contrast, I found the stoma easy to deal with. Once I got to grips with its mechanics, life went on as usual. I made a point of telling everyone I had a stoma, partly to raise awareness and partly to save my embarrassment if anything untoward happened, which of course it did occasionally.

It took several months to stage the cancer, so my chemo didn’t begin until May 2021. The delay was worrying and frustrating; it was impossible to look ahead without a clear horizon.

Recovery from the operation was slow, then the chemo started. It battered my body and mind. I spent a lot of time in bed feeling ill, apathetic and guilty and my hands were numb and my brain addled.

Once chemo had finished, I slowly regained use of my hands. I gardened manically during daylight, and from dusk, designed, cut and sewed a ridiculous number of coats. This furious activity supported me through chemo recovery and an ensuing tonsillectomy, and allowed me to rebuild a sense of purpose. My garden is still, at best, a creative mess, but out of the coats, my business EdNerat was born.

In late 2022, I was nudged into having a stoma reversal by a dear friend. The NHS list wasn’t moving, and although I was fortunate to have the option of doing it privately, I wasn’t moving. My friend saw that I was both ‘hanging on’ to it like a badge of honour and feeling unworthy of having it removed. She asked, “How long do you plan to be defined by cancer?” which felt brutal at the time, but was accurate.

I had my reversal in January 2023. As I regained my fitness, I realised that surviving wasn’t the end goal – I could create a new life after cancer.

During my journey I benefited from having the best husband and daughter I could dream of, unimaginably supportive friends, a wonderful GP, skilled surgeons, and fantastic stoma nurses. The consultant that performed my reversal was heroic, going well beyond the call of duty.

What I didn’t do, stupidly, was make use of the resources on offer, such as Bowel Cancer UK. I’d strongly encourage anyone going through cancer to seek out help. Do not ignore the psychological effects, they’re tough and long-lasting and need as much attention and allowance as the physical ones. It doesn’t matter how strong you are, you will need help.

I’ve finished medication but still have regular scans and speak to my healthcare team every six months. The combination of a healthy diet and vigorous mountain walks have helped me recover physically and friends and family, emotionally. Bringing EdNerat to life has created work for others, which has given me a strong sense of purpose and helped me recover psychologically.

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