Coping with grief when someone in the public eye dies from bowel cancer

This week has been especially difficult for many in our community following the heartbreaking news about the much-loved TV dating expert, Mel Schilling. Here we talk about how it feels and some things that might help. 

At Bowel Cancer UK, we know that when someone in the public eye dies, the news can feel overwhelming. It’s often everywhere – on our screens, in conversations, across social media, and it can be hard to step away from. For many, it brings a deep sense of sadness, even if you didn’t know the person personally. And if you or someone close to you is affected by bowel cancer, that grief can feel even more intense. 

At the same time, these moments can shine a light on bowel cancer and its symptoms, reminding people of the importance of screening. That awareness can help save lives, but it doesn’t make the emotional impact any easier to carry. 

When it feels too close to home 

It’s natural to draw comparisons when we hear stories like Mel’s. You might find yourself thinking about your own diagnosis, or a loved one’s experience, and wondering how it all relates. 

But bowel cancer is different for everyone. It can behave in different ways, people respond differently to treatment, and care is always tailored to the individual. While it’s human to compare, it’s important to gently remind yourself that someone else’s journey is not the same as yours. 

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. There is support available. 

Support when you need it 

We offer a range of services designed to support you, wherever you are in your journey: 

• Guidance on looking after your emotional wellbeing  

• A welcoming forum to share experiences and connect with others  

• Access to specialist nurses through our Ask the Nurse service  

• A dedicated peer support line, so you can talk to someone who truly understands  

• Specialist Facebook groups offering help and support 

• Free expert publications to download or order  

• Support with coping with grief and bereavement  

Reaching out, even in a small way, can make a real difference. 

Being kind to yourself 

Grief doesn’t follow a straight path. Some days may feel manageable, while others feel much heavier. One of the most important things you can do is to be gentle with yourself. 

Give yourself permission to step back from the news or social media if it feels too much. Protecting your mental and emotional wellbeing is not selfish, it’s essential. 

Looking after your mental health 

This Bowel Cancer Awareness Month we’ve been talking about the idea of taking a ‘self-awareness day’. Instead of feeling pressure to engage with awareness messages or headlines if they feel difficult, it’s about giving yourself permission to step back and focus on what you need. 

If you’re looking for support, Stage4You - developed and funded by Takeda UK and supported by Bowel Cancer UK - is a resource created with people living with advanced bowel cancer. It brings together information, practical guidance and support to help people navigate the emotional and everyday challenges of a stage 4 diagnosis. 

The resource is interactive and flexible, helping you find the right information and support when you need it. Because your needs can change from day to day and that’s completely okay. 

If you’re struggling right now, please remember, you don’t have to go through it alone. Whether you're grieving, feeling anxious, or simply need someone to listen, we are here for you.