Jonathan Anstee, Surrey

After being diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer at age 54, my message to others is ‘listen to your body’.

I had little niggles, tummy pain and small amounts of blood when I went to the loo, for some time and didn’t think much of it. At worst I thought it might be a small ulcer or IBS. It was when I was in Crete with my two daughters, who are now 19 and 24, when I became aware of a sharp stinging sensation, especially when I drank coffee, and the bleeding became worse.

When we got home the pain and bleeding increased and I finally got round to going to my GP. He seemed rather more panicked than me and sent me off for a colonoscopy. This found a relatively big tumour and things were escalated to surgery very quickly.

I felt like I’d been picked up and thrown down on the front line. The situation was evolving so quickly, it all seemed like a blur. My security, safety and hope suddenly disappeared. I was sad, scared, and painfully aware that it was also upsetting and worrying for my loved ones, especially my daughters.

The surgery was successful. When the biopsy results came back, they showed that the cancer had spread beyond the bowel and it looked like stage 3. I was passed on for chemotherapy.

I’d heard miserable things about chemotherapy and was dreading it. The surgeon assured me I wouldn’t lose my hair. As vain as it might sound, that was a big deal for me. My first chemo session went okay. Sitting in a room for four hours with brave people who are all facing what you’re facing, is humbling and reassuring. The drugs are dripped into you over several hours, and though you are aware of what’s going on, it’s not massively uncomfortable.

For a few days after I felt very tired and a bit sick, though nothing I couldn’t cope with. However, the neuropathy, which is tingling or numbness in your hands and feet, really hit me. I couldn’t eat or drink anything below room temperature. I couldn’t go outside (it was winter) without my face and throat flaring up. I felt like my skin was electric. It was grim. The side effects of chemotherapy tend to last two or four days, then you have a break of feeling relatively ‘normal’.

Unfortunately, it was found that my cancer had spread to my liver. I had a liver resection, and all went well, but then the cancer turned up in one of my kidneys. They told me my cancer is now stage 4 and isn’t curable. The best we can do is keep things at bay for as long as possible.

I’m on a new round of chemotherapy which seems to be going well. The side effects are fewer than last time and the neuropathy isn’t as bad. I still have my hair too.

I’m living each day as best as I can and I’m grateful for all the amazing people supporting and caring for me. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I won’t get to see things I’d assumed I would, like my daughters’ weddings, grandchildren, or retirement. But that’s okay, I’m creating memories every day and I’m grateful for each morning I wake up.

I’ve learned that we can all cope with more than we think. We’ve all got an inner hero inside waiting to step forward in times like these. Just keep going — it is what it is.

The support I’ve received from my medical team has been exceptional. More important than any of the fancy drugs and equipment are the people who listen and care.

My friends have been very lovely and understanding and my family, in particular my daughters, Amelia and Maddie, have been heaven sent. They’ve shown more love and bravery through this than words can say. I’m an incredibly proud dad.

If I’d read the signs and got things checked earlier, it would be a very different story. My message is ‘listen to your body’ and get any niggles, no matter how small, checked. I ignored mine. I kind of knew something was up but didn’t want to bother anyone or waste their time. Getting stuff checked is no big deal and it could save your life.

My daughter Amelia is running the 2025 London Marathon to raise money for Bowel Cancer UK. I’m so proud of her choosing to run for such a great charity. Their website helped me lots in the early days to understand my symptoms and what to expect as my journey progressed. She’s a star and is determined to raise as much money and awareness as possible. If you or anyone you know has been touched by this awful illness please consider giving to her cause, it would be so very much appreciated.

• Donate to Amelia’s 2025 London Marathon fund
• Learn about the symptoms of bowel cancer
• Read more real life stories

Above: Jonathan, with his daughters Amelia (left) and Maddie (right)

Above: Jonathan with his daughter Amelia