Geraldine Hogan
My daughter Caroline was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer on 17 June 2023 and died on 17 August 2023, a week after she turned 39.
She was diagnosed in hospital after an MRI on her back showed that she had a fracture on her spine. The radiologist requested an oncologist’s opinion as he thought he could see a tumour on her spine. A CT scan showed numerous tumours on her spine, but the primary cancer was in her bowel.
On the 17 June, following her first CT scan, oncology requested a full-body CT scan and at 5pm that day, she was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer, which had metastasized to her lungs, liver and spine.
We were all stunned, finding it hard to hear the level of just how much cancer she had. Caroline was taken for a colonoscopy and the palliative bowel care team came to see us on the ward. I asked ‘how long’ Caroline had and was told that if she had no treatment at all, she had between six to 18 months.
The entire diagnosis took approximately seven hours. The delivery of such a message was clumsy and uncertain. There was absolutely no plan about what would happen, or what could happen.
Caroline was so brave. She showed so much courage and strength it brings me to tears. She spoke softly and kindly to the doctors and nurses. It was like watching a video of us, looking in at a family who started the day happy. The weekend was coming, we were happy, and then... we were crushed, devastated, a broken family. Caroline was the bravest of us all.
She was sent quickly for radium treatment. Her pain levels were not under control at all, but Caroline felt she would recover better at home and went home under the care of the palliative care team. Unfortunately, her pain got worse, so she went into the local hospice. Finally, after a few days her pain levelled and became manageable. Being in the hospice made us all focus on Caroline. We would do anything she wanted so we concentrated on getting her home ready.
Caroline died exactly two months after her diagnosis. She must have had cancer for a very long time. The five years prior to Caroline’s death, she had visited her GP on numerous occasions. At various times, she was diagnosed with chronic long-term back pain, protruding disc, irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. All of these were red flags for bowel cancer, but Caroline was only 38 and seen as ‘too young’ to develop it. There were missed opportunities.
Caroline was the eldest of three daughters, and my first born, the one who taught me how to be a mother. At 38, she had moved into a new home with her partner near the countryside. She loved animals, nature, and the environment. She studied psychology at the University of Reading, worked in mental health for the NHS and always tried to help the most marginalised in life. She had strong bonds with her whole family. We are devastated by her loss.
Bowel cancer is considered an old person’s disease, but it’s not. If sharing Caroline’s story saves even one life, I will gladly play my part. She is missed and loved.
