Ellen’s 30th birthday celebration in honour of partner Greg

After losing her partner before a milestone birthday, Ellen shares her story of how her birthday fundraiser helped her feel connected to Greg.

In February 2021, my wonderful partner Greg was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. At the age of just 27, his advanced diagnosis came as a huge shock, not only to all those who loved Greg, but to the medical team coordinating his treatment also.

In the same year as my partner’s diagnosis, Greg and I completed a fundraising trek for Bowel Cancer UK in the Brecon Beacons with some close friends. However, following the most courageous fight, Greg sadly passed away in January 2022 aged 28.

This year, as I approached my 30^th birthday without Greg, I couldn’t help but reflect on our past trekking efforts, thinking about the strength Greg showed by hiking 25km and climbing Pen Y Fan, all during an ‘off week’ from chemotherapy. The thought of heading into a new decade without Greg has been tough to process, and the only way I could face the day was by making sure Greg continued to be a part of my celebrations.

With the support of our nearest and dearest, a group of around 30 of us came together to trek the Suffolk coastline on 26 August, two days before my 30^th birthday, trekking 30km for my 30 turns around the sun.

As with our first trek, the event quickly snuck up on us and there wasn’t much training involved. We figured if Greg could climb Pen Y Fan eight months after major surgery to remove a tumour obstructing his bowel, and during active treatment, we could manage a 30km walk. Most impressively, my 86 year old Grandad joined us for the entirety of the walk, leading the group most of the way.

We started the day with the most beautiful sunshine and trekked through marshland, woodland, and along pebble beaches. As we headed into the final 5km, we were hit with torrential rain, thunderstorms, and flash floods of the marshland we needed to cross. That didn’t dampen our spirits however, and only made the day more memorable.

Completing the trek hasn’t made reaching this birthday milestone without Greg any easier, but it has helped to keep him close, and to remind me of the strength he showed and gave to all those around him, even in his darkest times. If I can help anyone else struggling with the loss of a loved one, I’d encourage them to find something that keeps them connected to all the wonderful memories left behind.

With over £8,000 raised (including Gift Aid) from our most recent trek, a total of nearly £32,000 has now been raised for Bowel Cancer UK in Greg’s name. We’re now thinking about making our fundraising trek a bi-annual tradition, looking forward to 2025 when we hope to complete our third trek for Greg.

Gerry Nelson, 86, completed the trek alongside his Granddaughter.

Gerry said: "Prior to Greg’s illness, we were developing a close friendship. Participating in the trek has been my way of paying respects to him. I also thought of my father, who endured four years as a prisoner of war during WWI. Many years later, it was bowel cancer which eventually took his life."

Catriona, a close friend of Ellen and Greg, completed a solo trek after catching COVID.

Catriona said: "I was excited to be part of Ellen’s birthday trek, but a few days beforehand I tested positive for COVID and had to pull out. I was so disappointed that I decided to walk the 30km once I’d recovered. After badgering friends and family for donations, I wanted to make sure I’d earned them!

"I walked the first 30km of the North Downs Way on my own. Although I missed taking part with the group, I had more luck with the weather than they did, and really enjoyed my solo hike. I felt such a sense of achievement at the end of the day, but that’s nothing compared to what Ellen’s achieved. Seeing her celebrate in a way that honours Greg, whilst continuing to raise money for Bowel Cancer UK, makes me a very proud friend."

• Find out more about trekking for us
• Learn about the symptoms of bowel cancer
• Have a look at how we can support you